Thursday, January 26, 2012

Joke Of The Day

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The  officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then  presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used  to have a last name but lost it.  The officer thinks that he has a nut  case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you  lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.'  I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When  I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.  I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my  degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD..  After a while I got bored being a  doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream!  Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.  

Got  bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.  

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.  Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my  DDS  because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving  me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Ever wonder where the nickname "Johnson" came from? Of course you did. It's an old railroad term dating from the age of steam.

The Johnson lever, or Johnson bar, was connected to a gizmo that regulated the point at which steam stopped flowing into the cylinders. You could shut the steam off before the end of the stroke to allow for full expansion of steam by the time the cylinder hit bottom dead center and began the exhaust stroke. This made for more economical running. If you kept the steam on until BDC, you would get more power but at significantly greater fuel and water consumption.

The sign of a good engineer was his ability fiddle with his Johnson untill he got the proper balance of power and speed.

1 comment:

  1. The timer on the coffepot is screwed up. This morning it had premature caffeineation...